Posts Tagged ‘random’

I went to a ‘workshop’ last night entitled “Play is the Way” hosted by a gentleman with great enthusiasm for his job and passionate
about his programme.

Basically the premise was that “Children do not fail, systems, programmes, teachers & parents fail, children do not fail”.

I agree entirely with this premise, but what a wake up.

Everything I do, everything I say, in some way, shape or form, manifests itself in my children and either enables them to succeed or results in their failure.

Like I didn’t already place an enormous amount of stress on myself as a parent and the influence I am having on my children!

It’s important to note though, and for me the reason why I enjoy these types of ‘workshops’, nothing he said, nothing he ‘touted’  new.  It’s simply that we have forgotten these simple truths through constant marketing demanding that our jobs as parents is not to raise well adjusted adults but to have a happy child.

Through constant marketing we have been made to feel that if my child is not happy, right here, right now, I have somehow failed that child and become less than that perfect parent I want to be.

When did we begin to assume that parenting was a perfect occupation?

Why do we expect so much of ourselves when all our child asks for is love?

Who do we model ourselves on and when parenting with a partner how do you align two different histories into one coherent parenting practise?

When do we require our children to be more?

When do we say “enough, you work it out for yourself?”

Whilst my children are relatively still young, it is the complaint of “the younger generation”, the “generation Y’s” that suggests to me that we are yet to make this demand of the up and coming, the people that I hope will lead the way, in technology, in kindness, in environmental responsibility, yet, if I am to believe the workshop last night (which I do), it is not their fault.

The system, education, you & I failed them and in doing so failed ourselves.

One statement he made still reverberates in my mind, and eases some of my guilt.  He said, “100-80 years ago we all had 10-12 children so didn’t have the time for poor old Jack/John/Lucy, we simply told him/her to deal with it, get over it, which they

Do I, do we, have the courage to demand more of our children, in order for them to be all it is they can be?

Can I let them go long enough for them to be truly happy…….free?


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Just for today I want to

Not have to think about what I’m having for dinner the second I wake up so I can get something out of the freezer.

Not make my bed, and especially not make the kids beds, like they care how their bed looks anyhow.

Not do the laundry, so I don’t have to worry about hanging it up, bringing it in, folding it, putting it away…..

Not do the dishes, again, and then again and just for laughs, again.

Not worry that I should really be putting that water from the saucepan I just boiled an egg in into another container so it can cool and be used to later water the plants with.

Not worry about makeup, I’m tired and drawn out and quite honestly sick of pretending otherwise.

Just for today I want to hide, be anything another than a mother who needs to pull her socks up, put on a happy face and show an interest in every pretend monster or little game they play.

Just for today I want to wallow, be still.  See no one.  Do nothing except maybe sigh at the mundaneness of it all.

Just be.  Just for today.

I’ll pull my socks up tomorrow.

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